Getting the man you want to propose -- and then turning that proposal into an actual wedding date -- can be a tougher deal to close than a media merger.
If he suggests living together first to see if you get along, tell him you're old-fashioned and want to wait until you're engaged or married.
Rules of Engagement If he hasn't asked you to marry him within a year -- or two at the most -- you might have to shake things up a little bit. If he says he has no plans to marry you, say okay and then never see him again. He's not scared of commitment -- he doesn't want to marry you.
Go away for a weekend with a girlfriend, cancel a Saturday-night date, get very busy at work, mention that you are renewing your apartment lease, or be mysterious about some of the things you do. If he says he does plan to marry you someday, but he's not ready yet, then it's up to you to close the deal.
All of the above should make him anxious to propose. Ask him when -- and if it's more than a year away, see less of him and think about dating others.
(He may have his own rules about dating for four seasons before popping the question, and there's nothing wrong with that.)Don't Break These Rules Following The Rules means letting him pursue you -- not seeing him more than two or three times a week, refusing to go away with him on weeklong vacations, and not moving in with him or crowding him in any way.
If you've done all these things, you've actually helped him fall in love with you and want to marry you. And you will sense his desire to include you in his world.Within a year, if not sooner, he's figured out that he not only wants to marry you but has to marry you to see you more often, to really have you.Your problem at this point is not if he's going to marry you but when. They are notorious for wanting to put off the actual engagement part until later.A man who is wary of commitment is made less wary by a woman moving away from, not toward, commitment. You've already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose. If you are already living together and he says he doesn't want to become engaged, make plans to move out.But don't say, "I'm moving out because you won't commit." Just say that you need more space and you heard about a great apartment.When a man doesn't want to commit and you do, leave him alone.