I’ve just started dating a man I’ve known for several months. My salary is good but normal for this profession and then with the supplement of my alimony settlement, I’m doing very well. And men who have no money are made to feel inadequate. I never made more than ,000 until I was in my 30’s. However, she, unlike you, Samantha, couldn’t get over the fact that I had no money. And the only way for you to overcome his deep seated insecurity is to be 100% consistent in your messaging to him.
He’s even thoughtful when it comes to sex and doesn’t push me at all. 😉 My point is that he’s just delightful — why wouldn’t I choose him over some schmo with a fat bank account but a slim personality? What a wonderful question and a wonderful sentiment for the new year. Insecure that he’s not a good provider – and insecure that a quality woman like you might not be open to dating him.
However, if he’s beating himself up all the time, this could go deeper than money.
And you’ll have to ask why this man is so averse to getting a real job.
One thing I understand after seven years of screenwriting in is that there’s comfort in noble failure.
You’ve been on both sides of the tracks and you’ve made a great case as to why you prefer this man. So women who are overweight have to deal with overweight men who crave airbrushed supermodels.
That said, I’m not here to convince you that money matters. Mostly because society (or parents or peers) have pounded the idea “I’m not good enough” into most of our thick skulls.
That’s why it’s one of the most common causes of divorce.
I only hope you can spread some of that pixie dust on everyone around you, since you clearly know what relationships are all about. Of course, there’s one other sentiment that bears mentioning, as much as we’d rather not acknowledge it: money actually matters in the long run.
Follow your dreams and it’s hard for anyone to give you a hard time about it. Are you SURE that you’re okay with a dirt-poor guy?