An Excerpt from Dating a Widower Read Chapter 1 I’m including this section of the book specifically for any widowers who might be reading it.Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience.
As for me, I am still sad that Judy died, as I am (to a lesser but still profound extent) that my grandparents died.
But while still sad and missing so many aspects of her and our life together, after 5-1/2 years of a roller coaster ride fighting cancer and having her attention directed away from me and toward her fight and the kids and her losing her desire for me, I grieved losses along those years and have since then wanted a new exceptional wife and mom.
I never felt that I was cheating on Judy by falling in love again –but I heard a widow once say that to me, so I am sure it may sometimes be a peculiarity of being widowed.
I know there are books about dating widowed people–I would recommend that you read one.
At least one of them wrote about the strangeness of almost having a ghost in the room–can you love a man who will always miss his wife, with whom he was in love and about whom he still needs to talk? That said, you know you are getting a man who loved his wife. If you love him, take the time and effort to work through these things together.
The important thing is can he expand his heart and love two great women over his lifetime? But I would be careful about his feelings of cheating–you need a Song of Solomon marriage for a change and he needs to feel great about the second great love of his life.
Blessings, Todd The widowed are vulnerable when it comes to dating. She was a stay-at-home mother – loving her family and her life.
For those who have lost a spouse and are looking to date again, here are ten tips to help you successfully navigate the dating waters.
Hi Michele, It would be helpful to know from what his wife died and how long she suffered.
I have learned that a surprise death is harder to cope with than a prolonged death.
It would also be important to know that he has had counseling to try to sift through his feelings.