When a relationship ends, one of two things is typically happening.One, you are being spared something (such as a life with someone who is not well-suited to be your partner); or you are being prepared for something new (learning lessons that will prove invaluable to you in your next relationship). There is a period of natural grieving and heartache for both partners, if you are the one who ended the relationship!Unfortunately, though, no matter how good a break-up might be FOR you, they rarely FEEL good to you. If you move on too quickly with hopes of sidestepping the pain (commonly known as a “rebound relationship”), this grief will find you later, somehow, often when you least expect it.
The focus of your issues may be different, but the degree is always the same. When you are heart broken, sleeping a lot, or not sleeping at all, eating poorly or not at all, crying, drinking, under-performing at work, and generally not on top of your game your stock values are low, low , low.
Relationships are the best vehicle around to help us become the best version possible of ourselves.
The very best thing you can ever do for your relationship is to focus on how to live your life with as much health and happiness as possible.
There is no greater gift you can give your partnership than a healthy you!
Which leaves the unsuspecting partner very hurt by her partner’s seeming “coldness” about the break-up. ” Typically this occurs when one partner does the work of grieving the relationship BEFORE ending the relationship. No one is fooling anyone when it comes to love…we get what we are. If you find this notion intolerable, or unacceptable – it’s probably time to take a closer look at your relationship.
Contrary to popular opinion, when it comes to dating, opposites do not attract. Sure, she may like to play football and you might like to shop – but I promise you this: I like to say, “You deserve every relationship you choose.” You cannot attract a partner who is healthier than you. If you are certain that you are healthier than your partner, ask yourself this: “If I am so much healthier than she is, what am I doing here?
” Sure, sometimes we attract partners that do not mirror our emotional health – and that’s why those relationships don’t last. Your issues may not be the same, but they are disabling to the same degree.
She may drink and yell too much, and to the same degree she is not taking care of herself, you are also not taking care of yourself by tolerating or enabling this. When you are taking care of yourself, eating right, exercising, spiritually balanced, mentally stimulated, socially active, and feeling good – your stock values are at their peak.
So before you jump ship because you think your partner is too unhealthy, work on getting as healthy as possible yourself and see if he or she rises to theoccassion with you!
Lose the judgement and criticism and help one another grow.
If you give it your best shot and it still doesn’t help, then it’s time to dig out that life vest and swim for the shore.