First up is the most obvious: partners who work contrasting shifts dont see each other nearly as often as they would like to! Recognize that loneliness may come, and strategize about how to effectively cope with it.A woman named Jess wrote a great piece for Offbeat Home and Life (2013) reaffirming that, no, these schedules arent ideal, especially at first, but there are perks.
Bernstein (2014) writes that physical closeness, even without sex, stimulates the hormone oxytocin, which reduces stress and promotes bonding. Partners need to discuss and get onboard with that reality. Jess of Offbeat Home (2013) cautions that it can be tempting to wake up your partner to get him or her to spend time with you, and it can also be tempting to neglect sleep in favor of precious time together, but resist doing either of these in excess. ) can lead to chronic cycles of dysfunction and feud. Couples should write love notes often, so this isnt something different when ones partner goes on nights, but last year, when work schedules prevented couples from seeing one another for days on end, letters became more vivid and interesting, and couples will feel closer to one another. Ed., has Masters degrees in both education and mental health counseling from Youngstown State University in Youngstown, Ohio.
Tessina also spells out some great ways of resolving conflicts with schedule restrictions in the mix. In her Babble column Love on Opposite Shifts, Chaunie Brusie (2014) writes that a coworker was so resentful of her night shift-working husband seeming to sleep the day away that she started counting the hours he slept, only to find that he was sleeping normal amounts. Enjoy a higher quality of sleep: Theres evidence to suggest that couples sleeping separately can reduce sleep disturbances (BBC News, 2009; CBC News, 2013) and actually promote peace instead of escalating tensions based on differing sleep needs (Bernstein, 2014), so to boost all of our relationship-egos April, included references about sleeping separately in the list below. Sending picture texts or updates about your day, calling to say goodnight at a bedtime thats not your ownthese efforts can go a long way. She has worked as a social worker in an inpatient hospital, as a therapist assisting treatment teams, and has led intake, discharge, group sessions and summer programs.
I know that this largely excludes the effects of working nights on circadian rhythm and that its nearly impossible to revel in the silver lining when your arrangement isnt one youve chosen for this reason, but its still worth noting. Kirkwood has over 26 years experience as a middle and high teacher and counselor in both Ohio and Florida.
She has worked as the dean for a guidance department of a K-8 school specializing in PBS (Positive Behavior Support) and peer mediation.
As well as a lead English instructor for Broward County Schools in Florida, where she was instrumental in mentoring new staff in the area of raising freshman and sophomore state scores in reading and writing.
She also has experience leading weekly court ordered parenting classes, directed at addressing school attendance issues; and has worked with inner city families as a liaison, uniting counselors, school staff and parents.
Her new journey takes her from the shoes of educator to boots of an author and speaker, grounded in her love of the mental health field as well as sharing her personal struggles with love.
The potential of living parallel lives with the partner, with no intersection or coming together- is a problem that people who work the grave shift have to solve.
Most people in healthy relationships strive to avoid this possibility.
But what do they do when their schedules dont line up?
To keep a complex topic simple, April Kirkwood, came up with a top five tip list of common challenges and issues of contention for partners who work conflicting day/night combinations.